Watch out: there's a beagle about -

There was an unexpected star at the opening of a new shoe store in Kendal.

It was six-year-old beagle Edward who took great exception to people taking the Mickey out of his breed.

Surrounded by cuddly, flop-eared cartoon-like images of himself, Edward decided to show everyone what real Beagles are made of.

First he growled at promotional beagles Richard Slater and Andrew Burgess, who were already feeling a bit hot under the collar in their furry suits, then Edward got hot under the collar himself and made a dash in an attempt to savage their ankles.

Owner Clare Robinson just managed to restrain him, but Richard said afterwards: "It was all rather intimidating," giving Edward a wide berth.

Edward was kept at a discreet distance for the rest of the opening ceremony, but was seen giving a basketful of cuddly toy beagles, on sale for the RSPCA, a very wary look.

Not so sporting after all -

A colleague's daughter has spent the summer working in a Kendal sports goods shop which is spread over three floors.

She says that at one point two large ladies came in and said: "We see you have a sale on."

"Yes"

"Where are the things for sale?"

"They're on the third floor?"

"What? All of them?"

"Yes."

"Oh we won't bother then," they said and wandered out.

One wonders exactly which sport they were interested in - marathon whist perhaps?

Weigh it up yourself -

When does 10 kilos equal 28 kilos? According to a letter passed on to me by a reader, it is when a parcel carrying

company dreams up a new wheeze to extract more of your cash.

In an explanation of how it now charges for "volumetric weight", Chronopost International writes; "If a package has a

recorded (scales) weight of 19 kilos and measures 60cms x 70cms x 50cms = 168,000 cubic centimetres, you divide by 6,000 = 28.

Therefore, the chargeable weight for this package becomes 28 kilos.

The person who sent me the information points out that it is a "heads we win tails, you lose" situation as Chronopost adds that if the actual weight is greater than the volumetric weight they will charge that instead.