NERVOUS Sellafield public relations people are at pains to demonstrate that all incidents on the nuclear site are dealt with most rigorously - which is only right and proper - but I can't help but feel that one 'incident report' in the latest Sellafield Newsletter is bit over the top.

It reads: "A child injured her hand with a pair of scissors whilst cutting out a mask during a supervised activity session at the Visitors Centre last week.

"She was provided with some first aid by the site fire brigade and was then advised to attend hospital for further treatment.

"She was taken to the West Cumberland Hospital where some further treatment was provided and she was subsequently discharged.

"Scissors have now been removed from the area as a further precaution."

It seems to me that an extension of the principle "scissors can cut and are therefore dangerous so remove them" can only be "remove all nuclear material from the site as that is even more dangerous."

The newsletter also reveals that Focus, the Sellafield paper, is, in future, to be published by a newspaper group in the north of the county.

Which prompts the thought that presumably the papers in that part of the world will be first to know if a major meltdown occurs on the site.

In which case, will the journalists be dashing to the press room to detail Armageddon for West Cumbria in that evening's issue, or racing to the car park to make a sharp exit down the M6 before the radioactive dust can settle?

DODGY MOMENTS AROUND THE WORLD

DESPITE the increased westernisation of the world caused by travel and communications there can still be some dodgy moments when customs of another country are not understood.

Some common mistakes are detailed in a press release sent to me by an insurance

company which, presumably, has a lot to lose, if one of its holidaymaker clients gets into a tangle of misunderstanding.

Singapore: it is offensive to bare the soles of your feet in public, or pat a child on the head.

Malaysia: present gifts only with your right hand as the left is conventionally used for

wiping your bottom.

China: men should not wear green hats, they are the symbol of a cuckold.

Portugal: yawning in public is considered rude.

Indonesia: Never berate an Indonesian in public (which to me seems like a pretty sensible suggestion for most places).

Bulgaria: head motion for yes and no are exactly the opposite to those in the UK.