STICKING rigidly to planning regulation can often create a nonsense situation, says Cartmel-based architect Ken Howson.

"History tells us that only cellars in the centre of Cartmel are at risk from flooding from the gentle River Eea which flows though the village," he says, but a flood risk assessment by the Environment Agency says there is a fluvial risk to a much wider portion of the village.

That area includes a house for which Ken had been asked to design a small extension.

Consequently he has had to assure the planning authority that the scheme will: "comply with the requirements of a Flood Zone 3 (High Risk) and that removable barriers will be fitted to all apertures (doors)."

Exactly what good those wooden washboards would do is not clear, for the extension opens directly into the rest of the house, which as an existing building is not required to have any flood barriers on its doors.

"It is with some enormous relief that my client has assured me that he will also store and maintain sufficient sand bags for the likely event that the flood bell at the Priory will toll in the early hours," adds Ken.

SHOOT TO SINK...

HOW disappointing - the troubleshooter being brought in by the Lake District National Park Authority is just a bloke to sort out their finances.

When I first saw troubleshooter' I thought they were going to bring in a sniper with a high-powered rifle and station him in a hide high on Claife Heights to blow away all those who continue to break the Windermere 10mph speed limit.

DATA DELUGE...

SOMEBODY heaved a brick through a window at Kendal court over the weekend and when my colleague Paul Duncan arrived on Monday morning a scenes of crime officer was busy taking finger prints.

"I don't know if this will do much good," he said.

"All it will show is the prints of every scally who has passed through here in the last five years and throw up a long and interesting list of names on our computer."