When Council Tax was first proposed, I thought it was a Good Idea.

Then someone popped my bubble by explaining that it was not a tax on councils, it was a tax to pay for them.

This is a Bad Thing as it encourages them and makes them grow bigger and stronger in an artificially sheltered environment instead of struggling away in a Darwinian fight for survival like the rest of us.

New Labour is currently reviewing council tax. You may remember this cropped up just before the election. The original plan was to reband everyone and rake in some money. Then the LibDems announced they would scrap council tax in favour of a local income tax. This got a few murmers of approval. Ever conscious that a good idea is worth stealing, New Labour announced they would review the situation.

So what have they come up with? According to the leaks, your council tax will increase if your house has a good view, or has a large garden or a big patio. Brilliant. Why stop there? Charge more if the neighbours have recently painted their house or have well-brought up children who play Mozart instead of rap music.

Paying extra for a good view is going to hit a lot of people in the Lake District. Anyway, who says it's a good view? Am I alone in feeling uneasy at the idea of a council tax assessment officer making sensitive aesthetic judgments on the quality of my outlook? Most of us like mountain and lake views, but they may be anathema to, say, an industrial archaeologist who might prefer a canal filled with shopping trolleys.

Anyway, on the principle of strike first, here are a few suggestions for reducing the quality of your outlook: 1. Get uglier neighbours.

2. Fill your garden with rubbish.

3. Buy some particularly repulsive garden gnomes.

4. Plant some fast-growing Leylandii.

5. Fit hideous curtains and keep them closed.

6. Erect a mobile phone mast in your flower bed.

7. Move to a town.

8. Park a rusting powerboat in your drive.

9. Knock down any historic bandstands and replace them with art installations.

10. Campaign for more wind farms.