THE sight that greeted me as I glided the inky canal could have come straight from an old Carry On movie A party of enthusiastic, but totally perplexed, Japanese tourists were crammed into a gondola festooned with state-of-the-art cameras and video recorders.

Accompanied by a passionate Italian accordionist, they were valiantly singing a medley of songs from The Sound of Music in broken English.

Inches away, another gondolier was desperately trying to keep to the tune of O Sole Mio without breaking into Doh, a deer, a female deer ...

Life on these hectic waterways really shows that despite being a city steeped in history and culture, Venice can and is all about fun.

The Fondamenta Orseolo, where we smiled and cheered the musical mayhem, resembles the M25 in rush hour.

But it also gives you a chance to applaud the skills of the colourful gondoliers as they pass each other, separated it seems by a mere lick of paint, with deft, well-practised wiggles of their single oars.

An hour's hire of a gondola costs around £40, after haggling, and you'll pay about a tenner for a tenor!

The watery interludes are ideal for counting couples holding hands and gazing meaningfully into each other's eyes. The discreet gondoliers take them around the quieter canals where they are less likely to hear a joker bellowing Just one Cornetto ...

By day, Venice buzzes. Tourists flock like pigeons around St Mark's Square and select cafes add to the mix with their own personal string quartets.

They try to time their pieces to avoid clashing with the bells of dozens of churches ringing out the hours.

Later though, in the gathering gloom, the city's bars and restaurants come to life. And, although some Venice merchants will be after their pound of flesh, it needn't cost an arm and a leg if you know where to go.

Our guide told us to watch for green lamps illuminating an ostaria', a traditional bar, filled with happy Venetians enjoying a barcaro - their version of a pub crawl - and taking a small glass of wine, an ombra. We found the perfect watering hole, at Ostaria al Diavolo L'Aquasanta in Calle della Madonna, near Rialto. Here, shared plates of fried fish and tuna cost a modest £6.

But a word of warning: nightlife in this pearl of the Adriatic tends to fizzle out at around midnight. Bars that stay open beyond that time are few and far between.

And there is no disco scene, which will disappoint some visitors and delight others. How to get to Venice is the big question. One way to explore its charming island lagoons is, like my party, to hire your own British-built cruiser.

I promise there is no better view of the haughty bell towers, spires and cupolas of this unique ancient city than from behind the wheel of your own motorboat.

Although you are not allowed to enter the Grand Union Canal, you can chug along just yards from it.

Then you can moor, as we did, at the marina in Sant'Elena for around £30 a night and stroll into the centre to look around its four palaces, 28 churches and 22 museums.

The beauty of having your own boat is that it gives you the freedom to visit the other islands in the Venetian lagoon.

We had flown into Treviso, a minor airport 20 miles from Venice. This gave us a chance to explore this city of 500,000 people built on the Sile (pronounced Seelay) river.

It is the home of the Benetton fashion family, who have spent millions preserving its buildings and supporting its rugby, basketball and volleyball teams. Try the excellent La Colunna restaurant, on the Via Campana, which provided a delicious four-course meal with wine for around £20 a head.

At Treviso, we were just three miles from Casier, where we collected our boat and floating home, The Connoisseur Magnifique, sleeping up to ten people in ultimate luxury. It was simple to operate and novice clients were given a thorough one-hour training session and a useful captain's handbook for reference purposes.

Our first stop was Torcello to enjoy a gentle picnic lunch on the spacious deck before exploring Santa Maria Cathedral, built in 639 and restored in 1008 in Venetian-Byzantine style.

Nearby the open-air Ristorante Al Trono Di Attila has a reputation for top-class food at top-class prices.

After our stay in Venice, we headed for the island of Murano, world famous for its exquisite glassware.

At the Vetreria Murano Arte on Calle San Cipriano, we were given a demonstration of the glassblowers' craft and the opportunity to buy examples of their incredible skills at prices ranging from a few pounds to something that could seriously dent your finances for the rest of your life.

We next visited the island of Burano, where picture postcard houses line the canals in contrasting shades of pastel colours.

And it was here we had our memorable, showbizzy moment at the Da Romana Trattoria on Via Galuppi. Four generations the Barbaro family have entertained the great and the good to all that is sumptuous.

Charlie Chaplin, Rossano Brazzi, Katherine Hepburn, Danny Kaye, Maria Callas, Mel Brookes, John McEnroe, Ezra Pound and Ernest Hemingway have sharpened their eating irons on exquisite dishes over the years.

So too have dozens of struggling artists whose paintings, in lieu of payment, line the walls. Back in Casier we had a chance to visit one more top restaurant before our 100-minute flight back to Stansted.

The Alla Pasina at Dosson di Casier makes pastas in its own kitchens and you can taste the difference. They also specialise in mouth-watering risottos and duck. A four-course meal with wine costs around £23 a head.

And do you know something: I didn't see one Cornetto on my whole journey Flights with RyanAir from Stansted to Treviso can cost as little as £1.98 return, plus taxes, if you book early Tel: 0871-2460000 or click on www.ryanair.com.

Hiring a Connoisseur boat at Casier costs from £795 for up to six people for a week. Tel: 0870-774-9933 or visit: www.

connoisseurafloat.com .

With Ken Bennett...