ANYONE who has attended traditional Lakeland Sports events over the years must surely have been subjected to the biggest single argument for banning foxhunting - that excruciating record of hunting songs that they insist on playing to give atmosphere.

The image it conjures up is of rednosed bucolic drunkards lolling round an open fire in an old-fashioned alehouse while presumably spit roasting their latest catch of foxes.

Actually, I think the sports organisers play the record as a sure-fire way of rapidly clearing the field at the end of the sports.

Now with the bill to end foxhunting wending its was through Parliament there will obviously have to be changes to those old songs to better reflect the new situation.

I suggest: "Do you ken Alun Michael with his policy so grey He outlawed hunting once on a day Now we're off to London to make him pay With a demo at House tomorrow morning."

Or: "A hunting we can't go, A hunting we can't go
For if we kill a fox
They'll put us in a box
And never let us go."

DOUBLE TROUBLE...

"I LIKED your piece on lightning striking twice at Ings," writes Alan Marsh.

"In August we were all set to visit my parents in their home in France then on the day before we received news that the house - and my mother - had been struck by lightning.

"In her usual understating way, mum had rung from a neighbour's home to say we should bring our own entertainment, as the television, video and computer had all gone up in smoke and that the telephone was also not working.

"It was only later in the day that we received news from two of her English neighbours that my mother had been taken to hospital after her telephone call.

"I went on the Internet for information about lightning strikes, and found that despite the common assumption that lightning never strikes the same place twice, it is incredibly common even for people to be struck twice.

"Of all natural disasters to kill humans, lightning is number three - despite floods, hurricanes, tornados, and volcanic eruptions all being in the frame.

"My mother is making a good recovery, having gone deaf in one ear and the other not so good, and hearing noises in her head which vary from like that of a frog croaking, to a dog barking in the distance.

"In the meantime, we have advised the neighbours to give my mother a wide berth, as she has two metal hips, and a titanium knee joint!"

PARK AND WALK?

I AM told that a family living in Kirkby Lonsdale had relatives from down south up to visit them for a holiday.

"Where is the best place to park in Kendal?" they asked.

"Lancaster," was the reply.