"With the pressure from NIMBYs, LDNPA and the Fiends of the Lake District to close anything that makes the district lively, attractive and lived-in, only the Lake District roads offer the prospect of fun and amusement," says M. Atkinson, of Ulverston.

Motorists may soon be unable to travel faster than 20mph on them, but what will that matter if they are transformed into an artistic feature, he says.

That could be achieved by colour coding the tarmac used to patch them.

"In the same way that farmers have a range of different-coloured silage bags, the tarmac could be red for 2004, green for 2005, blue for 2006, orange for 2007 and so on," he says.

"With the amount of patching going on the roads would soon become a mass of colour to match the stupendous scenery.

"At least it would be colourful use of our Council Tax and tax payers would be able to see immediately how much patching has gone on in any one year.

"Soon we could have competitions to go, for instance, from Coniston to Penny Bridge without driving over any the red patches. What fun!"

SALES HUNT HAZARD...

"WHILE reading my Westmorland Gazette I noticed an article saying that Highgate and Stricklandgate are to get high visibility anti-skid surfaces," says Gaynor Jordan, of Kendal.

"As this area is shortly to be pedestrianised, one can only presume this is to stop bargain hunters slipping while running to the winter sales!"

VILLAGE VIEWS ...

DEREK Pryce, of Arnside takes issue with the piece in last week's column where I was comparing the relative merits of towns and villages for inclusion if the Lake District National Park is expanded.

"I think your description of Milnthorpe as being ugly' is uncalled for," he says "If you had ever spent any time in the town you would know that there are many attractive buildings and features, and that the town was thriving, active and had a village feel' to it.

"Perhaps your opinion of Milnthorpe is based on the rather dilapidated state of buildings at the traffic lights/ cross-roads with the roads for Arnside and Crooklands, but that is only a small and untypical part of the town. Have your visited Dallam Tower estate?

"Perhaps you may wish to correct your description, and maybe describe it as less attractive than other small villages in the area which could be better candidate for inclusion in the LDNPA."

I am content with that. As he suggests I will henceforth refer to Milnthorpe, as a less attractive village although I will probably get another taking exception at that and wanting me to be even more politically correct by calling it a visually disadvantaged village.

BOLTS FROM THE BLUE...

THEY say lightening never strikes twice in the same place not true according to Lakeland Vinters, of Ings. The firm sent a business letter out a couple of weeks ago saying: "Within the last three weeks we have been struck by lightening twice resulting in no computer/printers and phones, we are still working on the backlog at present."

A SCARY STORY...

OVERHEARD in Asda: "I hear they have been making some sort of film at Sedbergh."

"It's probably a re-make of that horror film Village of the Damned."