I JUST can't understand what all the fuss is about regarding cyclists using Morecambe promenade after all they could provide the makings of Morecambe's next tourist attraction.
Before entering the walkway that wants to be a speedway, we could all be issued with a third eye neatly fixed on the back of the head.
This could be accessorised by a fetchingly tall hat bristling with antennae hot wired into the Daleks.
The aliens could then alert unsuspecting strollers that a wheeled vehicle is bearing down on them at some speed and switch on their third eye pretty damned quick.
Unfortunately the signals from the Daleks may not always be successful, resulting in alarmed strollers jumping the wrong way in their confusion and being tossed in the air by the wheeled vehicle.
Of course the real money spinner will be the Dalek lottery based on how many tourists can be stretchered to the hospital in ambulances nattily got up as flying saucers.
Paradoxically, the council may have a cunning plan to keep all tourists safe and reveal all in reply to this letter.
Or do you think they will be as silent as a cyclist coming up behind a rather deaf, visually impaired promenader out for a stroll?
Beam me up Scottie.
Mrs Irene Sutcliffe, Bare.
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