In the first of a two articles, KEN BENNETT visits one of the most intriguing holiday destinations on earth and discovers all that glitters really is gold ...well, almost.
The woman at the airport reception desk gave me a quizzical look and asked coyly: "Are you here for the naughties?"
Before I could fumble a reply, she added: "Don't worry - almost everyone is"
Then in cool tones she explained the naughties' are the millions of fake designer clothes, handbags, watches and other fashion accessories for sale in Dubai.
Now if you are a self-confessed shopaholic or style-file, I'd advise you to bring an empty suitcase should you plan to visit this amazing desert kingdom. Bargains come thick, fast and at prices, in many cases, two thirds less than your average High Street stores.
Sure there is the sun - cranked up to laser heat, seven blinding days every week.
But one of the driving reasons Dubai is taking centre stage as the world's forceful new holiday destination is its unashamed consumerism.
From the very second the air-conditioned stores and shopping malls open, you are carried along with the swirl of bargain-hunting tourists in a controlled, but frenetically intense, buying frenzy.
Every kind of space-age gizmo, every new and sophisticated piece of electronic kit and every conceivable fashion accessory are up for grabs here.
If it's jewellery you're after, there are enough gold necklaces, chains and rings festooning the brightly-lit windows of the downtown souks (markets) to pay off an average country's national debt.
And there are enough diamonds stippled into rings, watches and cuff links to make you believe that folk perhaps really do walk round with them on the soles of their shoes.
Or maybe you want a designer watch, or handbag? Well, if you can't afford to splash out on the real thing then, like thousands of other bargain-hungry Brits, settle for an imitation.
I promise not even a trained eye could spot the difference. But, in reality, they are unashamed fakes from the Del Boy World of the Far East pumping cleverly made look-alike, feel alike imitations into the limitless bargain bazaars.
Not that tourists are really bothered. "Look," said Mary, a bottle blonde from the Midlands, brandishing a fake Louise Voitton handbag. "I know it's a copy but I bargained the shop assistant down to just £30. The folks back home will never tell it from the real thing. The stitching, handles everything is just right."
Then she said wistfully: "And it's something I never could afford to buy in Brum"
Hmmm True, many visitors come to simply cash in on their illusions. But no one can avoid some of Dubai's most astounding realities - its truly amazing hotels.
From the real leather seat of a stretch limousine (nothing comes small here), I lope past the shimmering, new, almost mirage like, phenomenon of this desert kingdom.
Hotels leap out of the flat desert floor. One, a huge tower of black glass and steel, billows in the shape of a sail, replicating the famous dhows that still ply the Arabian Sea and creeks.
Another hovers against the darkening skyline, perched like a giant wave, cascading and reflecting its curves in the calm surface of a floodlit lake.
Then there is my base, the Shangri-la Hotel, Dubai's newest, most contemporary designed icon: 43-storeys of clean, cool granite and steel, stretching its giant fingers skywards.
Shangri-la Hotels have a legendary reputation for quality and impeccable service in the Far East. Now this, their first venture in the Middle East, is already reaping new success.
Two young Thai girls, in immaculately tailored red jackets etched with brass buttons, waft a smiling welcome through the hotel's giant glass doors into the balconied reception area.
"I didn't want impersonal, automatic swing doors," explained hotel general manager Bernhard Haechler with a warm handshake. "We want guests to feel welcomed from the very moment they step over our threshold.
"I ensure visitors are greeted personally whatever time of the day or night they arrive," he added. I can vouch for that. And British hoteliers please note - the girls always smile.
I contemplate Bernhard's words as I drift through carpets as thick as blancmange in my, well, er bedroom.
In a lounge larger than the average detached house, I examine the giant bed (covers changed twice daily morning and night), a complete computer workstation, and multi-channel TV that tracks you on your meanderings.
And, around the corner (yes, there is a corner), behind a sweeping line of wardrobes, stands a lavish bathroom and shower that could easily accommodate the England rugger squad.
But it's mine, all mine Even more remarkable is that room rates start from just over a £100 a night if you sign up to the free Golden Circle guest recognition programme and that includes free breakfast.
But then again, that's the Dubai hotels benchmark: huge on quality excellent value on price.
I reflected it would be easy never to leave the lavish confines of the hotel for the whole of your holiday. In fact, some long-stay, ultra wealthy guests love the hotel so much, they have taken over complete duplex suites and moved their own furniture in.
And no wonder. The hotel's umpteen different restaurants serve award-winning cuisine from around the world, 24-hours, seven days a week.
For example, how many times in your life could you say you've dined on flavoursome Moroccan cuisine for lunch and sublime, intricately spiced dinner from Vietnam without ever leaving a hotel's foyer?
But despite the laid-back almost timeless opulence, you actually wake up believing Dubai is always on the move. And it is Oil once the country's lifeblood is steadily dribbling away. In 50 years time it is reckoned their wells will finally have dried up.
However, Dubai's shrewd sheikh rulers are determined not to be seen simply as building sandcastles in the sky.
You can almost taste the subtle, remorseless determination to provide entertainment, leisure and property developments of stultifying proportions.
During my visit, they calmly announced to an unsuspecting world the building of a spectacular new tourism and leisure attraction, appropriately named Dubailand.
Not some small-scale theme park, you understand. Two billion square feet of desert just ten minutes from their international airport will be turned into a vast family-orientated attraction costing, wait for it three billion pounds.
The Arabs really do believe in putting their money where their sand is - big time.
They have already come up with The Palm, the world's largest series of man-made islands, where the Beckhams and Robbie Williams have invested in stunning new properties.
And dreams turn into reality at Hydropolis, another world first, with 220 hotel suites underwater adding a whole new dimension to the meaning of cool living.
NEXT WEEK: Belly dancing in the desert and finding the best bargains.
Fact file
Ken Bennett was a guest of Shangri-la Hotel, Dubai, the Dubai Department of Tourism and Emirates Airlines.
For further information and bookings at the Shangri-la Hotel Dubai, or to sign up for Golden Circle, click on: www.shangri-la.com for reservations: sldb@shangri-la.com Or write to The Shangri-la Hotel Dubai, Sheikh Zayed Road Dubai, United Emirates. Tel: (971 4) 343-8888.
For information on Dubai, contact the Dubai Department of Tourism and Commerce: 020-7839-0580, email: dtcm_uk@dubaitourism.ae l Emirates has nine flights a day from the UK to Dubai: three from Heathrow; three from Gatwick; two from Manchester and one from Birmingham with a new daily flight from Glasgow beginning on April 10.
Information on flight prices and packages to Dubai or Emirate Tours, call 0870-128-6000 or click on: www.emirates.co.uk
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article