WITH bottle-rim glasses thicker than the girls he employs, when the seedy club owner appeared on Coronation Street last week (ITV1: Wednesday, 7.30pm) to interview the recently-returned Leanne, I knew we were in for a laugh.

Gazing at her chest, presumably to see if she had the correct attributes for the job, he told her: "I suppose I like to think of myself as a father figure to my staff."

To which Leanne laughed flirtatiously: "Oh, I don't have to call you Daddy, do I?", clinching the position in one fowl swoop. "No, Mr Ogden will be fine for the time being," he replied, licking the drool from his bottom lip.

Now take a comedy caricature like that and move him down to Walford and it wouldn't work. Neither would Roy Cropper reading a definitive account of Alexander the Great to baby Amy (Coronation Street ITV1: Wednesday 7.30pm) in the Woolpack.

But it is these comedy titbits that have pushed Corrie back to the top of the television viewing tree.

This week, we can look forward to the adventures of Ida Fagg, the original (and entirely unsuspicious) pseudonym Jack Duckworth dreams up when he decides to give his ladies-only bowling team, including star player Hayley, a helping hand (tonight (Wednesday) 7.30pm).

Will the officials at their inaugural match fail to notice the Rovers Ravers have a secret man on the teamand will they realise Jack is dressed as a woman too?

THE murky world of the football groupie came under the spotlight on Thursday (Channel 4: 10pm) when Sex, Footballers and Videotape, a fictional documentary-type film hit the screens.

The opening credits of this one-hour drama were preceded with a video-clip allegedly featuring football stars Rio Ferdinand, Kieron Dyer and Frank Lampard and a number of young girls who they entertained in a hotel room in Ayia Napa a few years ago.

Although the makers claim the show was not based on any particular footballer or any particular incident, their intention to draw comparisons was pretty obvious in light of the clip used.

Centred around the past-time of "roasting" the phrase describing the craze for group sex among stars of the pitch Sex, Footballers and Videotape told the story of Jase', a rising Premiership star who runs into trouble when his team-mates share his date for the evening.

With footballers hitting the headlines every other day for their sexual exploits, this was essential viewing and revealed two sides to the notion of rape.

If a man (or in this case three) deliberately gets a girl drunk with the intention of sleeping with her, should they be liable for punishment? And who is responsible?

Rumour has it now that Lampard's solicitors are on the case and planning to sue Channel 4 for libel. Dyer's agent Jonathan Barnett, meanwhile, said it was unlikely he would seek an injunction. "I wouldn't think so," he said. "This is just pathetic it is very poor TV.

"This is for morons and is something only someone with the mental age of a three-year-old would be interested in."

I bet he watched it though.