THIS somewhat puzzling notice was spotted by a reader at Kendal's multi-storey car park. I guess it must be a new South Lakeland District Council wheeze for forcing more cars out on to the streets and into the clutches of the prowling traffic wardens.

I have to admit, however, that creating posters that clearly convey their exact meaning can be a problem for anyone.

For instance another reader phoned me to say: "About that notice outside the Gazette office which says Sell your car for under £10' anyone can do that, it is getting a good price for them that is the problem."

PLAIN SAILING FUNDING for Kendal's long-debated park and ride scheme has been delayed yet again by hard-up Cumbria County Council.

I wonder if one solution would be to make up the shortfall with a regeneration grant for developing the scheme in conjunction with re-opening the canal to Kendal as a park and boat plan.

The biggest difficulty with re-opening the canal is that it dives into culverts under the M6, but from there on in it is all plain sailing, not even a lock to hold up traffic.

There's not much of interest down at Endmoor anyway so it would do no harm to tarmac over a few fields so that tourists can turn straight off the M6 and A65 and park while they are whisked away to Kendal.

Providing the necessary water taxis should be no bother there will be hundreds of high-powered speedboats with owners looking for some way to amuse themselves when the 10mph speed limit comes into force on Windermere next year.

FLAT REFUSAL THE controversy over the plan to turn the Royal Hotel in the centre of Kirkby Lonsdale into flats set me thinking what would have happened if the boot was on the other foot?

Dear Sir, With regards to your plan to turn a block of six flats into a hotel, the council feels that there are numerous problems with the application.

Hotel use would lead to a considerable coming and going of vehicles and the inevitable additional traffic congestion caused by strangers looking for somewhere to park would be unacceptable in comparison to use by flat owners who knew where parking places could be found.

In addition a hotel would require considerable servicing by delivery lorries, already a difficulty in the town centre.

The final stumbling point, a somewhat appropriate phrase you might think, is that few hotels these days are viable without a public bar and a function suite.

However well run these may be, they inevitably lead to some degree of late night noise and disturbance as people who have consumed alcohol turn out into the main street.

As you are well aware there is a well-established council policy against any form of merriment and enjoyment in Kirkby Lonsdale to maintain the dignity and image of the town.

Consequently your application to turn the flats into a hotel is refused, Yours, A. Planner.

FORK THREAT?

Gazette photographer Mark Harrison has just returned from holiday with a strange tale of security on Iberia Airways. "Meals were served with a plastic knife but a metal fork," he said.

DISTINCTIVE VEHICLES with distinctive or amusing registration plates assembled at Holker Hall last week for a spcial rally.

I wonder if the motorbike I saw parked at Devil's Bridge, Kirkby Lonsdale, a while ago was there P155 OFF.