THE man on the television news the other night was going on at length about the proposed bridge across Morecambe Bay and how carefully it would have to be constructed: "not to spoil this magnificent panorama over the bay," he said, waving his arm to indicate the view behind him.

Pity really that he had chosen Grange Promenade for the interview and all that could be seen behind him was a waving sea of Spartina Anglica grass, which has changed the natural environment of the bay far more than will any bridge.

It was also a strange place to choose, I felt, as a Barrow to Heysham Bridge will be so distant as to be almost negligible from the Prom.

What I do not understand about the big bridge scheme is, however, if using the tidal flow under it is such a lucrative way of making electricity, why haven't there been turbines slung under the arches of the Kent and Leven railway viaducts for the last 100 years?

DISSATISFIED WITH THIS SURVEY SOUTH Lakeland District Council is currently in the midst of a listening exercise.' Liz Armstrong, from Kirkby Lonsdale, tells me that a big questionnaire has gone out to all and sundry and it takes about 20 minutes to complete.

It asks for anonymous responses to show how satisfied or not people are with what SLDC does .... tempting isn't it?

Question 8 is rather intriguing. It asks how satisfied or dissatisfied we are with each of the following services - sport/leisure, libraries, museums and galleries, theatres/concert halls, parks and open spaces.

Then it says: "Please answer regardless of whether you have used these services or not."

How can anyone comment on being satisfied or not with a service if they haven't used it?

Finally - it's supposed to be anonymous, but on the first page they've stamped a six-digit serial number. Any bets the number on mine will lead right back to me?

TALKING POINT LAST week's comment that the new Lancashire slogan: "Lancashire the county where everybody matters" sounded as if the entire population was covered with boils brought this response from Wendy Cook, who wrote: "Near Edenfield, half the m' has been scratched out.

"This simple expedient renders the nauseating logo into one that is much more apposite: - Lancashire: the county where everyone natters."

Judging by the Lancastrians in this office I would say that's about right.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES MY PIECE suggesting that old- fashioned street names around the area should be changed to more modern ones that express the character of the area brought this additional suggestion from Norman Burnell: "Do not forget Aynam Raceway in Kendal," he says, adding: "What about optional road signs restricting access to Miller Bridge? Left Turn unless you don't want to' in Kent Street and No Right Turn unless you feel like it' on Lowther Street.