CHANGE was always a fairly matter of fact word but now it has become more of a trendy one.

You know what I mean, not much is all right, everything has to change.

A good example of an absurd change is where once you used common sense, now you are supposed to make sure it is politically correct.

It has even got into Rugby, for when England won the World Cup, President Chirac of France said: "The win is a triumph for Europe".

Now I reckon it was a triumph for England and if that is not politically correct, tough.

If you are going in for change then the sort you want is the sort that is going to make a positive difference.

Take for instance all the red tape and the bureaucracy that comes out of DEFRA. As I have said before I am not a fan of Lord Haskins, but if he succeeds in drastically reducing DEFRA red tape, then I will give him due credit for it.

As if to emphasise the point I was making, an old friend kindly sent me a typical example of what farmers had to put up with he had noted in Private Eye.

This concerned a farmer who saved all the documents and official papers he had received so far this year, popped them on to his wife's kitchen scales and discovered that there was more than 60 in number weighing nearly a stone or what good old DEFRA would call 6.53 kilos.

Not me of course, I would call the weight a stone too.

It seems these wonderful official papers included Consultation papers on the "use of the National Sheep Envelope", "the implementation of the Cartagena Protocol; regulation of the European Parliament and of the Council on the transboundary movement of genetically modified organisms" and "legislative proposals for Integration of the Habitats Directive provision on conservation of European protected species into the land-use planning regime".

here is more, much more like "The new regulation for farmers burning fallen stock and the proposals for the identification and registration for sheep and goats" - a surreal plan to put a barcode like plastic tag on the ear of all Europe's 200 million sheep."

There is more that came through our friend's letterbox. Namely things like "The quinquennial Review of the Milk Development Council", the "integrated administration and control system" 64-pages long on "recycled paper containing 100 per cent post consumer waste".

"The DEFRA race equality scheme"; "The DEFRA/DTI consultation paper on a set of decoupling indicators of sustainable development"; a consultation paper for the "national scrapie plan semen archive".

The "rural delivery review" a questionnaire of "stakeholders and interested parties; and the "proposed use of catering waste containing meat in composting and biogas treatment".

There is even one headed: "useful hints and tips for completing DEFRA surveys on the internet" as Private Eye says it's somehow not surprising that farming is the occupation with the highest suicide rate in Britain.

Dialect word: Garth, meaning an enclosure.

Thought for the day: May I be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.