THE festive period can be the most magical time of year but for those who’ve suffered loss, it can also be really difficult.

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we endure in our lifetime. Grief is often a long and harrowing process, which everyone deals with in different ways. 

At St Mary's Hospice, they provide a vital service to help people through those dark times. 

The Family and Bereavement Support Service provides a shoulder to lean on through these tough, life-altering moments. The service works with many families as the process loss, even offering pre-bereavement support in some cases, as patients and their families face up to life-limiting diagnoses. But it isn’t only for Hospice patients and their families.

“Obviously lots of people use the service who’ve lost someone at the Hospice, but we’re here for absolutely everyone in the community across South Lakes and Furness — they don’t have to have lost someone at the Hospice, or even someone who has used hospice services,” explained Linda Nott, the service’s co-ordinator. 

“Grief is a strange thing which can impact on people in different ways and at different time. Christmas can be especially challenging, because it’s a time when people remember families and things they’ve done together over the years, and then suddenly they can feel the loss more acutely. 

"We are not a counselling service, we are supportive listeners. We hope to give our clients a safe place to come and speak freely about how they are feeling. And we know that doing that can really help. Everything is confidential, and often people find they can talk more easily to us than they could to family and friends.”

Many of the hours of listening are provided by an army of trained and supported volunteers. That’s how Linda started out herself, in 1996 when the service was launched.

“I became a volunteer then and remained a volunteer until 2018 when I became a staff member. I am still as passionate about the service now as I was when I started. It is an absolute privilege and honour to share one of the worst journeys any one of us has to make. All I want is to reassure them that what they are experiencing is okay and normal. Grief has no manual. It is a very individual journey with absolutely no time scale or set of rules. It is great that we’re able to help people when they need it most, and it isn’t unusual for clients who’ve used the service to volunteer their time in the future, when they feel able to.”

In 2022/23, St Mary's Hospice bereavement services received 473 referrals — these can come from the Hospice, the hospital, local GPs services or anywhere, really. 

Linda explained: “We are a resource open to absolutely anyone in our community, so long as they are over the age of 18. Anyone younger needs more specialist help which we can signpost to.

“Loads of our referrals come in from health care professionals but we do get some that come to us directly, and people are always welcome to do that. You can find details about the service and how to get in touch on the Hospice website.”

A client of the service, Tania Dermody, said: "I was recommended the service by a friend after I lost my Mum in May 2019 at Furness General Hospital. 

“I was finding things really difficult so, in January 2020, I contacted the Bereavement team. Linda came to assess me, and I was matched with a Volunteer called Debbie in February. 

“Unfortunately, during the COVID-19 pandemic, our face-to-face meetings had to become phone calls. I did prefer face-to-face but Debbie and St Mary’s made sure I was still looked after when the national guidelines meant we couldn’t meet. Those calls were vital to me during a challenging time. Debbie was really good, and I felt comfortable openly speaking about my thoughts and feelings. I would highly recommend the service. Even though I am discharged now, I know they are still only a call away if I ever need them — and I believe it isn’t uncommon for people to be discharged and then, if they are feeling low, especially around a time like Christmas, to pick the phone up and get some support.”

St Mary’s offers face-to-face sessions either at the Hospice or at its Living Well Centre in Barrow, as well as telephone support if that is preferred on 01229 444407.

So if you’re feeling like you need some help with grief, at Christmas or any other time, please contact them.