Writer and cartoonist Colin Shelbourn takes a sideways look at the 2017 General Election:
Dear Theresa May
Thank you for your recent letter regarding your decision to call a General Election. I’m thrilled that you specially wrote me, Theresa, when this must be a very busy time for you, with your TV appearances on The One Show and other political programmes.
But now we’re on first name terms - you used mine five times - I think you deserve a reply.
Whilst I agree that it is important to get Brexit right, perhaps we should consider whether it is wise to get Brexit at all.
I appreciate that it’s what UKIP asked you to do and that the Tory old guard are very keen but, Theresa, perhaps the interests of the country outweigh party political interests occasionally?
Recent months have shown increasingly unfavourable consequences for Brexit - greatly reduced scientific and university funding (due to lack of foreign students), a decline in inward investment, the prospect of existing companies moving to Europe to name but a few.
Furthermore, the negotiation challenges of Brexit will be among the most complex the country has undertaken, Theresa, and I am not sure that Liam Fox is up to it. Particularly as you’re threatening to let people hunt him if he gets it wrong.
I know, Theresa, that you think there’s a mandate for this, with the country solidly behind you, but really? An opinion poll based on misinformation and a clown bus driven by Boris Johnson. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, Theresa, but the majority of 3.98% wouldn’t even be considered statistically significant in a scientific study, which requires a minimum of 5%.
Now, Theresa, in your letter you claim to offer a strong and stable government. Let’s imagine a car - a Daimler, for instance. Good, solid, British engineering from a bygone age. A little wobbly on the brakes and steering if driven across uneven territory, however, so how to keep it going straight?
We could lash the steering wheel with rope and make sure that it is inflexible and cannot move. It’s unfortunate that the uneven surface we’re driving across is on top of Beachy Head and we’re heading for the cliff, but at least we’re strong and stable and are remaining steadfastly on our chosen path.
Does this metaphor remind you of anything, Theresa?
I look forward to hearing back from you when you have a moment. Oh and I’ll be sure to watch out for you on the Party Leaders’ Debate, if you get time to do it in between The One Show and all those Breakfast TV shows you seem to prefer.
Love and kisses, Colin
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