WHEN it comes to rustling up some free pre-Easter publicity to woo the tourists there is nothing new under the sun.
Take the case of the plastic daffodils planted at Fallbarrow because the caravan site owners were concerned that the real things would be gone before the Easter visitors flocked in.
Not exactly a novel idea - older readers of the Gazette will recall how the Armathwaite Hotel in the north of the county did exactly the same thing around 12 years ago.
It seems to me, however, that there may be some merit in using artificial aids to keep the tourist season buzzing along for the whole year.
A large plastic sun waving gently on a stick above the trees on Claife Heights would go a long way to convincing November crowds that it was not really as damp and dreary as it appeared on the fringes of Bowness Bay.
Skiers could enjoy an August slalom down the fell behind the Kirkstone Pass Inn on a bed of polystyrene beads.
Power boat owners could be offered tall screens to encircle their cruisers, on which would be projected films of fast-moving lake scenery so that they could enjoy the pre-speed limit days of high-speed boating while pottering lawfully along within the 10mph Windermere limit.
A similar arrangement of screens around a sloping escalator would enable February visitors to enjoy the sensation of climbing Helvellyn without leaving the safety of a shed somewhere in Ambleside. An added bonus for local residents would be an open invitation to chuck buckets of water on the quazi-mountain climbers every few minutes to give them a real feel of natural Lake District weather conditions.
UNSHACKLE THE TRUTH...
THIS week marks the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade and I wonder if people are fully aware of just how deeply the slave trade was embedded in this part of the world.
In Bowness churchyard there is the grave of a slave, but much more poignant is the more famous "Sambo's Grave" at Sunderland Point on the estuary of the river Lune.
Historic Sunderland Point is well-worth a visit if only to read first hand the fanciful verse on the grave which tells of how the poor little black cabin boy pined to death while his master, the ship's captain, was away on business in Lancaster.
Once again - as with my previous story about the train crash - I don't think so.
Over the years I have also covered a couple of stories about the slaving era.
One was a gruesome discovery in a house on the Sedbergh to Kirkby Lonsdale road where the builders were unblocking an old chimney and out rattled a metal slave collar and skeleton remains.
Then there was the sale of a large house at Sedbergh where the cellars contained a complete set of intact slave pens.
NO CHOICE, REALLY...
THE moment that the Virgin Pendolino express left the rails near Grayrigg must have been horrific for the driver, but I have been somewhat puzzled by national newspaper headlines hailing "the heroic driver who stayed at the controls."
Heroic certainly for his actions immediately after the crash in helping to co-ordinate the rescue despite being badly injured, but I am not so convinced at the heroic-for-staying-at-the-controls line.
What else could he do in the few seconds between leaving the tracks and ending up in a field? Open up the cab window, despite the fact that the train was still travelling at around 90mph, and shout "Goodbye folks, I'm bailing out now." I don't think so.
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