THE BBC's coverage of the latest dire warnings about global warming has been impressive, with professionally worried-looking reporters sending back cautionary tales from all over the globe, including the Antarctic.

But, wait a minute, isn't one of the major factors of global warming supposed to be all the carbon dioxide being pumped into the air by the burning of fossil fuels?

And am I wrong in thinking that aircraft are among the worst offenders?

So the good old BBC has been cheerfully boosting its own story by jetting its front men and camera crews thousands of miles when it could presumably have used people already on the spot to send back all those pretty pictures of melting ice, sweltering penguins and displaced Polynesian islanders without adding to the pollution problem.

These thoughts occurred to me when I attempted to make my own small contribution to saving the planet last week by taking the train down to a family funeral in Leighton Buzzard.

Now funerals are something you cannot arrange six weeks ahead, otherwise I could have bought advance saver tickets for my wife and myself for around £30 each.

When I checked the Virgin Trains prices for three days ahead, however, the ridiculously titled Super Saver return was £122 each.

So the only sensible option was a two-way car trek down the motorways, but I have to confess as we struggled through the Midlands belt of snow at 20mph I couldn't help thinking - global warming can't come soon enough.

FURRY FUTURES FROM his ancient pagoda (his home in Sparrowmire Lane, Kendal) my friend Peter Holme has for years been constructing oriental horoscopes and he tells me that the Chinese New Year starts this Sunday.

Peter knows well that I think all horoscopes, eastern or western, are a load of old nonsense, but for the weak-minded who tend to believe in such things Peter's general predictions for the coming year - the Year of the Pig - are: "Generally if you follow the Chancellor's advice and act prudently with your money this will be a good year. Sporting action will dominate the headlines and the arts and music ndustry will be to the front of the action socially. On the global front it will not be any worse than it is now. Sadly it will not be much better either.

"A new discovery could be the event of the year."

As with the western world the Chinese horoscope is divided into 12 segments and each segment is named after an animal.

For instance, one is generally known as the rabbit, or cat, but the direct Chinese translation for it is "small furry animal" which I prefer to think of as the Year of the Gerbil as that sounds suitably ridiculous.

My birth year makes me a Monkey and, as Peter well knows my age, I suspect there might be a slight piece of revenge taking over my view of his horoscopes as the prediction for the Monkey ends with: "A diet and exercise would not go amiss."